Busted Play
by Tashenka
Summary: Collection of OneShots, post series - HiruMamo, Saikyoudai fun...
1. Just do it

**Title**: Just do it_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_**Word count**: 470_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_ **Beta reader**: Jisa

**Warnings**: Hiruma as usual (x Mamori, but very passively here) plus Yamato guest appearance

**Summary**: Just something Hiruma would never do…ever

**Note**: Written for 'Youichi fans' group (DeviantArt); theme was, well, 'Something Hiruma would never do'

**Disclaimer**: Eyeshield 21 manga was written by Riichiro Inagaki & illustrated by Yusuke Murata. It was serialized in Shueisha's Weekly Shonen Jump and later published in English by Viz Media. Eyeshield 21 anime was produced by NAS, animated by Studio Gallop. It premiered on TV Tokyo, sponsored by NFL Japan. I do not own anything about Eyeshield 21 and no one is profiting from anything written in this story.

* * *

Hiruma sneezed. Fucking flu'd been going around lately and he'd been feeling it alright. The half of the Saikyoudai Wizards had the same issue but that wasn't the problem here.

At first, he seriously considered sending a slave to do this errand he was stuck with. He would have paid good money to see fucking lizard's face performing the task at hand, but somehow he just couldn't bring himself to say the word out loud. It was a good plan, but there was also a 50:50 chance of it backfiring somehow, so he decided to do it himself.

There were just too many details he needed to watch out for, like the right place, the right brand, the right amount, and some messed up condition he remembered. '2 for 1, special deal, today only.' Those words still rung in his ears loudly, and they twitched violently at the memory. 'Being economical...' Well fuck that!

Damn it all to hell, why had he even agreed to this in the first place? Hiruma wasn't easily intimidated; actually, nothing was ever intimidating if he kept a cool head about it, but this was a different matter altogether.

The world's best have fallen here, so he figured his time too had come. So, there he stood in-between two rows of dangerous and unholy things, facing his worst nightmare. His eyes glared suspiciously all over the place until he finally found the reason of his distress, and he set out to get it.

If he had to name the situation he was in, 'the most fitting name would be Death Trap,' he thought.

Cross that. Locking eyes with fucking backstreet Yamato boy, who just happened to walk in here, the name became 'Dawn of Doom.' Of all the things in the world, the bastard just had to catch him doing this one. 'Oh, screw it…'

Being Commander from Hell and all, Hiruma simply grabbed the offensive object, barring his fangs to the fucking voajer. "Fucking girlfriend couldn't keep her fever down, and then this!"

He didn't know why he felt the need to explain himself to the bastard so he glared the object in hand with disgust once again. His features flipped to a devious, wide grin way too quickly and as final touch, Hiruma fiddled with his devil's handbook, just a little bit.

"Be smart, fucking teammate." He tapped Yamato's shoulder with it, proving a point, and with that done, he headed for the cash register, cool as ever.

OMAKE

Yamato remained frozen in place thinking he must have done something really wrong in a previous life to deserve such a punishment. Seeing the devil grin maniacally, emitting an ominous, dark aura while buying TAMPONS was definitely the scariest thing he had ever witnessed.

It was a punishment of a sort; Yamato was sure of it.

FIN

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**A/N**: Feel free to check out 'Youichi fans' group contest on DA if you'd like to have a laugh at goofy ideas people had. When I read the theme, buying tampons was the first thing that came to mind… I really don't know why!

For those who didn't quite get it (my fault, I wanted to keep it as vague as possible), Hiruma was standing in a convenience store, somewhat female department, trying to find the right pack of tampons for lovely Mamori, while she was too sick to get out of bed. A very girlish thing to write, I know (and apologize), but Hiruma would never do that, would he? XD


	2. Good Sport

**Title**: Good Sport_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_ **Word count**: 1170_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_ **Beta reader**: Jisa again

**Warnings**: Fluffy a bit, cunning Mamori too

**Summary**: For Hiruma, sport is all about winning… but, there comes a time, in every sport, when one needs to be a good sport… Hiruma is not gonna like it

**Note**: Written for 'HirumaxMamori' group, 'Prompt of the month' contest (DeviantArt); prompt used - 'Sport'

**Disclaimer**: I do not own anything about Eyeshield 21 and no one is profiting from anything written in this story.

* * *

"When we had that bet, this wasn't what I had in mind, fucking manager" Hiruma declared angrily, paying the driver, but still feeling reluctant about stepping out of the cab. He had known Anezaki Mamori for several years now, of which he spent two dating her. As a fucking manager, she was obedient and useful to a fault, but as a fucking girlfriend, she was proving to be quite troublesome. And he enjoyed every second of it. She was both competitive and challenging, and he was usually more than happy to take her on: anytime, anywhere.

This, however, had caught him completely off guard; the trick was on the trickster now, and that didn't fare well with Hiruma at all. The damn woman didn't even bother to tell him where they were going. Once he realized where all this was heading it was far too late to do anything to stop it.

"Of course you didn't! But how else was I supposed to make you do this?" Mamori exclaimed desperately and wasted no time to leach onto his arm the very second he got out, just to make sure he wouldn't bail on her now.

"This is a bad idea. It can't possibly end well!" he said narrowing his eyes at her for her lousy attempt at restraining him. He couldn't blame her though; he hadn't given up on the idea of escape just yet. That was plan B: he could still make a run for it.

Yes, he lost a bet. Knowing her, there was a fair chance of that happening but he never thought consequences would be this severe. And there he was, foolishly thinking he knew her well enough when she proved him wrong by pulling a cruel stunt like this. "Remind me not to make any bets with you any time EVER, fucking girlfriend."

"Oh come on, Youichi! I'm letting you off easy…" she proclaimed smugly but she couldn't help feeling a bit guilty for making him do this. "The deal was you'd be spending 24 hours with me and I'm only taking you up on 2, so don't fuss so much about it!" They had agreed on 24 hours indeed, but, knowing Hiruma, Mamori predicted this much and thought this to be only fair. She smiled widely at the memory.

(…)

Hoping she would finally get a peaceful Friday evening with her boyfriend, Mamori made some pop-corn and patiently awaited him to show up with movies. Hiruma came soon enough but instead of movies he brought five videotapes of newest amefuto data saying he needed them processed within the next twenty-four hours. As a bonus, he brought some sad soul (a slave of his, no doubt about it), who Mamori recognized as vice-president of Saikyoudai video club, to help her do the time. When Mamori yelled at him to send the poor guy home, he mocked her enthusiastically, claiming that there's no way she'd be able to complete such a task all on her own.

Somewhere in between all the arguing that followed, the bet was made: if she finishes the given data before the deadline he would give her 24 hours of his time and his undivided attention to do as she pleases with him. Of course, if she failed, he would take the same from her. Dead, thick silence filled the space between them as Mamori waged her options.

Hiruma stood at her apartment door patiently, grinning evilly at the thought, his emerald eyes promising scandalous deeds to her, making Mamori narrow her blue ones at him. She wouldn't let herself be intimidated, and she really felt sorry for the guy seeing him turn pale, desperately expecting her reply. Her evening might had been destroyed but she'd be damned if she'd allow Hiruma to ruin someone else's as well.

The guy beamed, hearing her say a frustrated 'fine' to Hiruma. He bowed respectively to thank her, and with that, he was gone in a flash leaving Mamori to deal with the devil alone. Hiruma only cackled madly, quite pleased with this development as he moved to kiss her. 'To seal the deal properly,' he announced, but Mamori denied him, smiling sourly as she wished him a long, cold, and most lonely night, slamming the door into his face. She heard his wild 'kekeke'-s on the other side, saying he'd be eagerly awaiting her twenty-four hours of slavery.

After a difficult, sleepless night full of hard work, she proudly handed him the data when he showed up to pick it up the next day. Mamori kissed his cheek gently, as he examined that flawless data, knowing how angry he was as she asked him innocently whether he needed something else. Hiruma remained silent, scowling at her as she claimed her win telling him they'd be having a fancy dinner instead of the full agreed twenty-four hours, so he should only dress formally.

He only mouthed a 'tch' over his shoulder when he turned to leave, and Mamori walked back into her apartment looking forward to the most deserved rest. She knew that this win of hers was once in a lifetime opportunity, so she gave the idea a lot of thought before deciding to use it to its fullest.

(…)

Now, they found themselves here, approaching their destination. Hiruma gave Mamori dark, sides glare as he observed out loud "You are getting more cunning and devious. I must be spending too much fucking time with you."

Mamori only sighed at his nagging; he could be such a child sometimes, but she managed to smile attentively before she stopped to straighten his tie. "I guess you are rubbing off a bit." She gave him one last, soft, lingering kiss on the lips encouragingly, trying to ease his discomfort a bit before continuing carefully "It's only natural…"

There was a double meaning to the words and he protested, not failing to notice it." There's nothing natural about this mess! Damn it!" If Mamori hadn't known him any better this would have seemed desperate to her.

"Seriously!" She was slowly getting annoyed with him, but she somehow kept her cool and attempted to reassure him once again. "This was bound to happen sooner or later. It's better to just get it over with, ne Youichi?" she tried teasingly, to lighten the mood, but he didn't like that one bit.

"I'll get you for this. You just fucking wait!" Hiruma threatened darkly but he could see it wasn't working at all since she kept smiling at him lovingly. "Tch… Why to hell do I have to do this?"

Mamori had been nothing but patient with him through all this, but that made her snap angrily "Because you lost the bet!" They finally reached the porch, and she took a deep breath before pushing the doorbell button. She glared at him briefly, demanding victoriously, "Now be a good sport and meet the parents!"

Hiruma gulped seeing the Anezaki residence door open. He lost the bet all right, in so many fucking ways.

FIN

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**A/N**: I've finally found some time to format and post this here too. And let me pimp you around a bit XD

Feel free to check out 'HirumaxMamori' group's 'Prompt of the month' contest on DeviantArt. You'll find some awesome HiruMamo fan-arts&fics and you don't need to hesitate in participating as well (if you have some free time available, that is).

Well, hope you liked this and stay tuned for more ^_^


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